I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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