apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
