what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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