great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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