New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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