I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
