Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
