Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
