I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
