apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
