how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
