Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Farmville is her only friend.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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