Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
