Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
