All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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