Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
