I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need to calm my uterus...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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