he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
