he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
