i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
