the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
