why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize