Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
