I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
