Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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