So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
