maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
