You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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