My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
