Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
