I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
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I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
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I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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