Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
