im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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