Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
