As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
