Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
