Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
