is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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