My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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