Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
