Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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