Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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