Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
