woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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