there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
