You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm passing your future prison.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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