he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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