we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
