Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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