Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
