I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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