please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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