i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
