well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
