Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
