I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize