If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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