Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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